5 Funny/Unbelievable ER Stories
As a nurse, it’s pretty likely that you have some great stories that can generate a room full of laughter or that can generate many looks of disbelief. If you’re an ER nurse, chances are you have even more of those kind of stories.
We’ve rounded up 5 funny and unbelievable ER stories that are sure to make you you giggle…or stare at your computer in disbelief!
Can’t Breathe Chaos
I was working in a rural hospital once and patients would push a button at the back ER door that would ring a bell at the nurses station. When the bell rang you would ask the person who it was and what they needed over an intercom. One particular night the bell rang at the nurses station and the nurse answered “Can I help you?” The urgent reply was “Ma’am you have to help us my wife cannot breathe!” Needless to say all the night nurses went flying to the back at break neck speed grabbing the ER doc on the way only to find a man and his little wife standing there calmly at the ER door. The nurse out of breath and scooping the wife into a wheelchair said “sir I thought I heard you to say your wife could not breathe?” “Yes ma’am her nose has been stopped up all day and she cannot breathe.”1
In our ER, a 30+ year old woman shows up one evening, saying “there’s another little hole down there (genital area) and it’s bleeding” – Lovely. Pelvic exam revealed a normal female with 3 “holes” (she had been unaware of her urethra) who was menstruating.1
Small Splinter Problem
We received a ‘red phone’ pre-alert that we would be receiving the victim of a road accident who had collided with a fence. Sure enough, he arrived. Unfortunately, so did the fence. There was a fence post, probably 5 inches across, which entered his body just below the right side ribs and exited through the left shoulder. All well and good had he been unconscious. He looked at us, we looked at him. In a very English way he said, ‘I seem to have a splinter, I think that you might need to remove it’. He spent 3-4 weeks on the Intensive Care Unit but lived to tell the tale.2
What’s Your Opinion?
James is 87, the sweetest of patients, one of nature’s gentlemen. Just the other day when I was giving James a sponge bath I stood him up next to the bed so I could wash his privates when he looked down and said, “Have you ever seen anything so big?”
I didn’t know what to tell him. All I could think of was there was this guy down in Florida one time…
But before I could say a word James shook his head and said, “My brother-in-law told me once that these have got to be the biggest damn feet he has ever seen!”3
Move That Cow
The hospital had recently changed from wired computer stations to wireless computers on wheels which became shortened to COW. In the recovery room a plus-size woman was regaining consciousness when she heard a nurse say, ” Move that COW.” Not knowing anything about computer carts, she assumed the nurse was referring to her large size and was highly insulted.4